FOR ALL OF YOU OBAMA SUPPORTERS

Try and swallow this:

http://www.theurbangrind.net/?p=2570

where to from here?

So the plan right now is to go to Midlands Tech and transfer out to a university. I'm considering USC, CofC, Winthrop, University of Florida. I'm pretty sure I want to get a business degree in finances and for that the better choice would be USC, but I really really want to be close to the ocean. And Seacoast is down in Charleston, I would love to get involved there. But CofC is only known for being a party school anymore. That and I'm not sure how distracted I would be at CofC by everything else. I guess it's a matter of where my heart is, just like every decision in life. Do I go to USC where I'll probably get a higher education and better employment opportunities or do I go to the ocean, the place I love?

Decisions, decisions...

final words

So tonight was my last night in Erison. I gotta say, it was a great show. If I had to go out any way, it would have been the way it happened. It was kinda sad but to be completely honest, I feel so much more relieved than I do remorse. Being in that band just became a burden over time and I realized that it doesn't matter how famous or rich it may make me, I'm not going to be happy if I stay in it. So, I decided to leave. God played a big roll in my decision to leave. I hadn't really been spending much time with him for the past year or so but starting almost about a month ago I'd say, while I was already contemplating leaving the band, I started feeling God tugging. So I made time to pray and talk and over that time I realized why I wasn't content or happy with my life. It was because I had strayed from God, even though I wasn't really doing anything bad. Some people would say I'm retarded for leaving the band but I feel like it was one of the best choices I've ever made. I feel so relieved and that there's now enough room for God to really work in my life the way I want him to. Anyway, I'm wiped and I have work in the morning. Tonight was great :) updates later.

stretch me across the ocean

This is for future reference to anyone who actually reads this: I am a strong believer in God but am not your "typical" christian. I don't believe "cursing" is wrong because A- nowhere in the bible does it say anything about cursing being bad and B- curse words actually have meanings behind them that aren't bad at all. The word fuck actually has the definition of fornication under consent of the king. Back during the black plague the king commissioned people to go have sex and repopulate England. Those people were called fuckers. The other words have explanations too but I'll talk about this another time. To the point:

I'm so damn tired of being single!

I can't stand it. It's driving me nuts. I want to find the girl who absolutely takes my breath away and who wants me just as bad as I want her. You know, I keep praying and looking but all I get is this combination of fear and passion that tears me apart. I am so passionate to meet a girl who I can share my life with and just be myself around, who will see eye to eye with me on issues that are important, who will understand the meaning of commitment, who will love me until the end. But most importantly, a girl who will understand me. I've been through a lot in my past when it comes to the opposite sex. I need someone who won't freak out and run away when I open up to them. Every time I find a girl who I begin to like I'm so afraid to open up to them because every single time I have before they just freak out and take off in the opposite direction. I want a deep, meaningful, passionate relationship with someone who understands love and what it means. I can't stand being alone. It's not healthy. I want so badly to find the love of my life.

iPod

So I bought my friend's iPod touch off of him the other day. It's pretty sweet.

Other than that, I need a life. Haha.

bleh

I miss high school.

I never thought I would. I was so ready to get out and take on the world. I wanted so badly to show what I was made of. I think in the process I failed to see everything that was right in front of me. I was looking through my old myspace comments. It got me thinking and remembering those days. As much as I never thought I would ever even think this... I miss high school. I really do.

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

So yesterday was Memorial Day. We had like 35 people over at our house. They were all from the church and I don't necessarily like the people at our church. That whole place just seems fake to me, like everyone feels like they have to put on a smile and be nice to each other just b/c. Which reminds me...

Haha I was listening to Rush Limbaugh today (I should get in the habit of doing so) and he played a clip of Obama making his Memorial Day speech. Limbaugh made the bold statement that Obama probably doesn't know what Memorial Day is. It was pretty funny b/c he's probably right. The audio clip was Obama saying something about how we honor the fallen, a few of which he sees in the audience. Haha unless he sees dead people then he really doesn't know what Memorial Day is! It's incredible the people we put into power, or potentially put into power.

I could go on forever and a day but enough about politics. I need to find a hobby or something to keep me entertained. I'm so bored all day, I have nothing to do. I almost feel like my life is wasting away. The problem is, there's almost nothing to do around here. I got to ride a dirt bike and a four wheeler the other day and that was some of the most fun I've had in a long time. But those things are expensive, so whatev.

I've also been having some struggle about figuring out what it is I really want to do with my life. Right now I just want to travel the world and enjoy the sweeter part of life. I don't want to be bothered with "you have to do this" and "you have to do that" in order to have "a good life" or being uptight or being "professional" or any of that crap. To me a good life is just enjoying life, whatever that may be. I want to make the best of what I have, not force what I don't have into my life. Later in life I have ambitions to do big things and to make a change in the world, for the btter. But for now, I just want to enjoy it and learn as much as I can from it. The only problem is that if I want to do any of that I need money. Lots of it. And that's what I don't have. I don't know, these are just some things that have been on my mind, it's really been bothering me lately. I'm not too happy with where I am right now and I just don't know what to do about it.

Anyways, I'm out. Updates later.